


I'll believe

by winchestergirl



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-27
Updated: 2007-12-26
Packaged: 2017-10-30 02:38:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/326837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchestergirl/pseuds/winchestergirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for loverstar for spn_holidays. Her prompt was: "J2! m-preg Where Jen and Jared have 2 kids (preferably between the ages 10-15 and Jensen is the one that gave birth), but Jared and Jen are in the process of getting a divorce. So their best friends, Mike, Tom, Steve, and Chris team up with the kids to get Jen and Jared back together."
> 
> Well, I’m afraid I wasn’t sure how to do the mpreg part… but Jared and Jensen are the natural parents of both kids in the fic ….The song that I used in the story is actually Steve Carlson’s song ‘I don’t wanna know’ and you can d/l it [here](http://download.yousendit.com/D50CE0777CA5B55E). I hope you like it honey, as it grew to over 12,000 words, way more than I thought it would. It is set in a future time period of a few years ….as the kids are 14 and 10 and both boys would have been kinda young otherwise to have been parents in a present day scenario …lol and I did include Lauren Graham but being as I have never seen the Gilmore Girls (*gasp* I must be the last fangirl on the planet!) I hope I got her voice at least close to her… *is embarrassed*. Oh , I also set it at Christmas too hon…lol I hope you like !

Merry Christmas honey...

**Title:** I'll believe   
**Rating:** R  
 **Pairing:** J2  
 **Spoilers:** no  
 **Summary:** Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

 

 

 

“I can’t do this anymore, I just …”Jared’s shoulders slumped in defeat as he whispered, “I just can’t.”

He leaned over the sink and looked out the window at the kids in the yard. They looked so happy, so unaware that their world was about to come crashing down around their ears. “Tom, what am I going to tell them?”

“Are you sure you even need to tell them anything? I mean are you sure that it’s over?” Tom started. “Jared, you and Jensen…” Tom moved closer to Jared “you two are the last people I would have expected to split. Now, Mike and I…well no one would be surprised if we split with all the shit I put up with from him. You and Jen, man I don’t know, I just thought that you guys were in it for the long haul.”

Jared met Tom’s eyes, “Yeah I’m sure. It’s over. Jens---” He drew in a deep breath. “Jensen asked for a divorce last night.”

“Oh man, I’m sorry. I just assumed when I called today that it would have been about you guys taking time apart, to sort it all out. I didn’t think it was that bad.”

Tom and Jared both looked outside when a sharp piercing squeal filtered through into the kitchen as fourteen year old JR grabbed his little sister, halfheartedly tackling her to the ground. “Holler Uncle”

“No, JR!” Ten year old Tara giggled “the ball’s mine. You and CJ can go find your own.”

Jared smiled sadly as he watched their kids. “You know he wants to move out.” Jared opened the fridge taking a beer for himself and one for Tom. “It’s not just that … though that’s bad enough. He wants to take the kids too.” Jared sighed heavily. He walked back and leaned against the counter. All the fighting was taking its toll and he was bone weary of it all. He cracked the cap on his beer and took a long pull. Tom could see he was barely holding the tears at bay. His eyes had started to well and his voice trembled as he spoke, before a silent tear started to roll down his cheek.

Tom placed his beer back down on the counter and moved to wrap his long arms around his friend, pulling him in tighter as Jared’s body shook. His silent sobs wracking his body. “It’s going to be okay Jay, you’ll see.”

 

*********************

 

“Hey! …ouch…Tara, that hurt. You gotta watch where you hit a guy when you do that.”

“Well it’s my ball ‘n I’m tired of football anyhow. Don’t cha know any other games we can play?”

JR shrugged his shoulders, “None that I can play with a pipsqueak like you.” He turned and waved to CJ as he went back home next door.

“Hey I’m ten! Just ‘cause you’re fourteen doesn’t make you a grown up JR.” Tara pouted petulantly.

“I’m fifteen! Well… I will be soon. An’ I’m more grown up than you!” he grinned as he snatched the ball back.

Tara huffed and made what her dads’ called her bitch-face as she turned to the house and called out, “Daaaad! JR’s being mean…” She spotted Jared through the window. He looked so sad these days. She hated it when her dads’ fought. It had been happening more and more lately. The raised voices and the doors slamming were bad enough, but in the last few days the stony silence that had settled between them was much, much worse she’d decided.

She watched quietly as she saw Uncle Tom draw her dad into a comforting hug. JR walked across to Tara, softly tossing the ball between his hands. He put his arm around his little sister as he followed her gaze. “Dad’s really not handling this well, is he squirt?”

Tara shook her head and a small sniffle betrayed her. Her shoulders shook a little. “We gotta do something JR. I heard them fighting again last night. They didn’t think I would, they thought I was asleep. But JR I heard Daddy tell Dad that he wanted to leave.” Her sobs grew stronger until JR drew her down with him until they were sitting on the grass.

“He wouldn’t have really meant it squirt, he was probably just mad.” JR tried to soothe her fears, but he knew it wasn’t working. How could it when he was just as scared as her?

She shook her head. “No JR, you weren’t here. You were at Uncle Tom and Mike’s with CJ.” She sniffles and JR wiped at her face with his shirt. Daddy said he wanted to leave and he wanted to take us with him. JR… I don’t wanna…I don’t to move away from Dad. I don’t wanna leave Daddy either. This just fuckin’ sucks!"

Tara let the curse words escape without thinking and her brother looked stunned.

“TARA ACKLES PADALECKI! Don’t you EVER say that again or _both_ dads’ will kill you. Where did that come from?"

Tara hung her head sheepishly as she looked up from beneath her bangs. “Umm … Uncle Chris…You know how he gets sometimes…” she let JR digest that for a moment before she began again. “But it does JR! I don’t care if you tell, it does fuckin’ suck and it’s the only way I can make it sound as strong as I feel it. Uncle Chris and Uncle Steve, they write what they feel in their songs. People listen. No one’s listening lately JR and we need to stop them. We need them to stay together. I don’t want them to split up JR, I don’t … I---” her voice became a whisper as her face crumbled, tears and snot running down her face as only a kid can manage. “I just don’t.”

JR pulled his sister tighter against his chest, “Shhh squirt, we’ll do whatever we can to stop it. You’ll see, come on.” JR placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face. “I promise. I’ve never broken a promise yet have I?”

Tara sniffled out a ‘no’ and JR grabbed the shirt she had tied around her waist. “Blow”

Tara blew her nose onto the shirt and JR wiped her eyes with the sleeves. Tara’s eyes widened when she realized that it was her shirt she just blew her nose on. “Eww... JR that’s just gross.” A soft smile hid behind her eyes.

“Yeah but it made you smile didn’t it?” JR grinned as he pulled them both to their feet. “Come on squirt, time to work on ‘Operation Dads’.”

“You really think we can do it.”

“Sure we can,” JR said confidently. Now he just wished he could convince himself.

 

*********************

Jensen paced like a caged animal across the living room of Steve and Chris’ apartment.

“Man, sit your cheatin’ ass down and stop pacin’. I don’t need you wearing a hole in the floor.” Chris bitched as Jensen completed yet another lap of the room.

Jensen looked over at Chris and glared, but he knew it wouldn’t have any effect. Chris was just as bullheaded as he was. He sighed and sat down on the sofa across from Steve. He hadn’t said a word the whole time Jensen had ranted, he just kept picking at the gentle melody he was working on.

Steve just looked up at Jensen and sighed. “You know Jen, I’m not gonna blow smoke up your ass and tell you you’re in the right. You’re not. You’re about as much in the wrong as you can be. So I’ll tell you this. Get your cheatin’ ass back to Jared. You can’t have your pity party here. We don’t need it and you have a family to think of.”

“I am thinking of them. Jared and I… we haven’t been right for a while now. And Michael---”

Chris couldn’t believe he had the nerve to mention that cocksuckers name aloud. “Michael Weatherly is a fuck-stick who played you Jensen. He blinded you with his charm…” Chris snorted “and now he’s moved on.” Chris threw his hands in the air. “And you’re ready to throw it all away with Jared. Even now that Michael won’t return your calls. Jensen, you have two kids that adore Jared, he’s their Daddy too and it ain’t fair on them. None of this is.”

“YEAH, WELL!” Jensen shouted, “Jared didn’t…” his voice trailed off. Nothing he could say would make him sound any better. He _was_ an ass. He couldn’t deny the truth of Chris’ words. Michael had made him feel the way he felt back during Dark Angel. Going to the set everyday and acting opposite him again had taken Jensen away from the routine his relationship with Jared had become. Made him feel wanted again. He’d still loved Jared, but Michael made it like old times. He sighed. If only Lauren hadn’t seen them together and told Jared. If only Jared hadn’t confronted him with those damn kicked puppy eyes, if only he’d kept it in his pants… _Whoa_ where did that last thought come from? he mused, as he finally admitted to himself that it _was_ all his fault.

_He did it_. There was no use denying it. Jensen scrubbed his hands over his face and let out a loud sigh.

“Oh man, Chris, I’m an ass.” Jensen finally admitted “and I’ve fucked it all nine ways from Sunday. What the fuck am I gonna do? I’m gonna lose him. I’m gonna lose the best thing I have ever had in my life, and it’s all my fault.” Jensen’s head dropped in defeat.

*********************

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

Merry Christmas honey...

**Title:** I'll believe  
 **Rating:** R  
 **Pairing:** J2  
 **Spoilers:** no  
 **Summary:** Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

 

 

 

Tom woke the next morning to an insistent knocking loud enough to wake the dead. Sleepily, he looked across at Mike in the vain hope that he would answer the door. Huh. He stood and stretched as Mike slept on. Apparently some people even slept deeper than the dead. He scrubbed his hands over his face, clearing the sleep from his eyes and stumbling zombie like downstairs. The banging continued till Tom couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m coming I’m coming, stop hammering at the damn door!”

Tara shuffled uncomfortably from one foot to the other. She’d thought about this all night, tossing and turning it over in her mind. She needed Uncle Tom’s help. She had to have an adult’s assistance and although JR was almost grown he still couldn’t authorize the use of a credit card.

The door opened and Tom peered out into the bright morning light. “Tara? What are you doing here so early? It’s six am in the morning.” Wow, he thought. He’d almost forgotten there was a six am in the morning since Smallville had finished. He was still relishing the time off actually, but he knew it wouldn’t last. “Couldn’t it wait till later, whatever it is? CJ isn’t even up yet.”

“It’s not CJ I’m here for Uncle Tom, I need your help. Yours and Uncle Mikes---”

“Wait… Tara, are you sure we need Uncle Mike? He can get a little carried away.”

Tara nodded, “JR’s going to go and see Uncle Steve and Chris for their help too. We just…” Tara paused unsure how to go on. It all seemed to be such a foolproof plan half an hour ago, but without their dads’ friends it was all going to fall apart. “We need you all to help us. We can’t let them split Uncle Tom. JR and I, we see what’s happening and we have to stop it. I know they still love each other we just have to kick their asses into realizing it.”

Tom nodded, “Come inside honey, does Dad know you’re here? Wait, no of course not, most people are still sleeping.” Tom said as Tara stepped inside.” I’m gonna ring and let him know you’re here.”

 

Tara followed Tom into the house and sat down while Tom picked up the phone to call her dad. “I know they still love each other we just need to kick their asses into it.”

“Tara!” Tom chided with a grin, “Don’t worry, I know you got that expression from Chris, but try not to use it too much?”

“Sorry Uncle Tom, so will you help?” Tara looked up from beneath her bangs.

“Sure, we’ll help,” Tom watched as Tara’s face changed from the sad puppy eyes Jared worked so well into a huge grin. She was good, he had to admit. Those eyes got him every time.

 

*********************

 

Seriously if that fucking noise didn’t stop he was going to have to kill someone. Mornings were not Chris’ favorite time of the day, and this morning was no exception. After listening to Jensen and his pity party he was convinced more than ever that he had to get those two back together. He rubbed his hands through his hair and yawned, as he shuffled towards the banging on his front door.

There was no way Chris was going to let Jensen crash with them any longer, the man was screwing with his sex life. Steve refused to do anything while Jensen stayed under the same roof. Some crap about not rubbing his face in what a happy relationship looked like. Chris didn’t care. Personally he thought that he needed a kick in the ass to really recognize what he was going to lose. If that meant listening to him and Steve fucking like bunnies then so be it.

“All right, all right, it better be fucking worth me being woken up or I’m gonna kill a bitch.” Chris shouted before opening the door to the apartment. “JR, What are you doing here kid? You come to see your old man?”

“Pop’s here?” JR said surprised. “ I thought, oh never mind. Uncle Chris…”

“Just Chris now son, you’re fourteen, fifteen soon and almost grown. You’re makin me feel old.”

“Okay, Chris.” He smiled “Tara and I, we need your help. It’s about our parents---”

“I’m in.”

“Wait… you don’t even know what I was going to say!”

Chris grinned “Yeah son, I do. You want Steve and me to help you get your parents back together--right?”

JR nodded, “How’d you guess?”

“It ain’t rocket science son. Besides, he’s kind of cramping my style. The faster he goes back home the better you ask me. So what do you want us to do?”

“Tara and I were kinda thinkin’ we should all get together this afternoon. Dad has an audition and Pop has a late call today. Can you and Steve make it? Uncle Tom and Mike are gonna be there too.”

“Sure JR, we’ll be there. Now come on, let’s go wake his lazy ass up.”

 

*********************

 

If only I didn’t have to come back today to do this final ADR, Jensen thought with a sigh as he crossed the lot. When was this torture ever going to end? He and Michael were over. He knew that. Hell he wanted that. It’s just… it was just he was so angry at Jared the other night. He hated himself for what he’d done with Michael and Jared had seemed so oblivious to it all. He didn’t even notice that Jensen was on set longer, home less and in Jensen’s guilt ridden twisted logic that had turned into Jared not caring.

He knew as soon as he’d blurted the words ‘divorce’ and ‘kids’ the other night that he’d just broken Jared in two. He’d watched detached as if it were just another scene playing out in front of him, then, horrified as the light left Jared’s eyes he’d run.

Run out on the best thing in his life, and now… well now, he mused; now he’d lost everything. He never meant to say he wanted to take the kids from Jared. Hell they were his kids too. He could never hurt Jared that badly. Yet he did, didn’t he? He’d fucked it all to hell.

A thump against Jensen’s shoulder jarred him from his thoughts as he looked up to see he’d run straight into Michael.

“Hey Jen,” Michael said “Dude what’s got your panties in a bunch, you slammed right into me.” Michael seemed to take in the dark circles and pale skin of too many sleepless nights as he gave Jensen the once over. “Wow, are you okay?”

Michael put his hand on Jensen’s arm, the mock concern in his voice caused something to snap inside Jensen and it crashed out like a flood.

“No Michael, I’m not alright! You’re a fucking asshole and I’m an even bigger one for EVER letting things from Dark Angel see the light of day again. You fucking used me. And I let you. But you know what, that’s not the worst of it. The worst of it is I’ve broken not just my marriage, although that’s bad enough. But I’ve also broken the most important thing of all. Jared! He’s my life. He’s the father of my kids, and now thanks to me being a total fucktard, I let you in and I let you screw with it all. So NO! Michael I’m not alright, and if you ever touch me again,” Jensen glared at him noting the look of--was -that fear? shock? that flickered behind Michael’s eyes.

“Fine,” Michael grit out, “you know what? Fine! Go back to your family. I don’t care. I NEVER cared Jensen. You were just an easy fuck to keep the boredom away. You followed me around just like you did back then. Did you really think I ever cared? Are you still that naive after all your years in the business? Jesus Jenny---”

Michael’s words were silenced as Jensen’s fist met his jaw. “Don’t ever call me that. Only Jared’s allowed to get away with that.” Jensen glared at him, “Fuck off Michael. Don’t ever come near me again.” He turned and spun on his heel and walked back to the studio. That felt so good; if only he could fix things with Jared, life would be perfect.

 

*********************

 

JR opened the front door, softly letting Steve walk through first. He looked around for his father for a moment before spotting him. He pointed Steve to the kitchen and then quietly ran upstairs. Steve crossed the room and knocked gently on the kitchen wall before walking in. “Hey Jared, what you doin’ man?”

Jared looked up from the notebook he’d been scribbling in. He hadn’t even heard Steve come in. “Hey Steve.” Jared said softly. He felt exhausted, and from the look on Steve’s face he knew he looked it too.

“Rough night?”

Jared nodded. “Yeah rough night, rough day… I ---” Jared shrugged. “Just trying to sort through it all, I guess.” He reached for the cup beside him and grimaced as he swallowed the lukewarm coffee.

“So what you got there?”

“Not much...Just something I do every once in a blue moon. It’s …I s’pose a poem? I know it sounds girly. I mean who writes poetry anymore? It’s just with my mom being an English teacher she kinda got me interested in it…” he trailed off softly.

“Can I see? I promise I won’t give you a hard time.” Steve raised his hand and crossed his heart.

“I … yeah, okay… I guess.” Jared said as he turned the book around, sliding it across the table to Steve. As much as he loved Chris, Jared would never have shown it to him, but Steve, well, Steve was different.

Steve opened the notebook to the page Jared had been working on, and Jared watched nervously as he read. When he raised his eyes to meet Jared’s again they were full of emotion, and something else…

“Jared this is... wow. Look I don’t know if you’ll say yes, because I know how personal this is. But, can I get a copy of this? I know it doesn’t make sense, and maybe I’ve been hanging around Chris for too long, but I have an idea. Will you trust me?”

Jared gave Steve a bewildered look, but he knew he could trust him. “Umm, sure I guess. It’s kinda personal though, I don’t, I…”

“Don’t worry Jared,” Steve reassured “I’m not going to put it on my next album dude.” He smiled softly. “I just, I think I have an idea that just might help you boys. Can I give it a go?”

“Sure, why not?” Jared sighed. “I’m all out of ideas anyway.” Jared grabbed the page and tore it out then handed it to Steve. He shrugged at Steve’s look of surprise. “It’s not like anyone else is going to read the book, and I can always stick it back in when you’re done with it. By the way, I never asked. What brings you by?”

“Oh, I told JR that he and Tara could come to the studio with us today. I just came by to pick them up. That’s okay right?”

“Yeah, sure... I was just about to head off to my audition anyway. JR did mention you guys had something planned. I guess I just forgot.”

“Nah, that’s cool, I’m gonna go up and see if they’re ready.”

“Thanks man.” Jared walked to the sink and dumped his now cold coffee down the drain. “I should be done by dinner. You and Chris should stay.”

Steve nodded “Sure, we’d love to.”

Jared grabbed his keys and headed towards the door. He took a deep breath and focused. Audition time, he thought. I can do this.

 

*********************


	3. I'll believe part 3/6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

**Title:** I'll believe part 3/6  
 **Rating:** R  
 **Pairing:** J2  
 **Spoilers:** no  
 **Summary:** Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

 

 

“Are they ever going to get here?” Tara said as she paced anxiously.

“It’s ok Tara, relax,” Steve said as he steered her away from the window towards the sofa. “Mike’s gone to pick up Tom and Chris’ gone to get Lauren.”

“How come?” JR asked, “I mean why’s he going to get Aunt Lauren?”

“Remember a couple of years ago that vacation that you guys took up at her cabin? I was thinkin’ that seeing as we’re trying to get your dads away from it all, that it might be the place to send them.”

“Oh you’re good,” Tara said, her eyes lighting up in delight.

“I try,” Steve grinned as a loud noise came from the kitchen.

Mike and Tom had burst in through the back door with grocery laden arms. “Remind me to never let you sit on Santa’s lap ever again.” Tom said laughing at Mike. “Dude, they’re only going to be gone a couple of days. You’ve got enough food here to feed an army.”

Mike set the bags down on the counter and took of his ridiculous reindeer hat, forgetting the reindeer nose he still had on.

“Umm, Mike? The nose?”

Mike grinned. “Nah I like it. I’m gonna leave it on. Anyway you’ve seen how much Jared eats. I don’t think we got enough!” he said with a grin, “CJ.”

CJ came into the kitchen with the last bag of groceries. “Okay can I go see JR now?”

“Sure, tell ‘em we’ll be in there in a minute.” Mike said.

“Okay Dad.”

Mike walked over to Tom and pressed him back against the counter. “Now, let me show you how I’ve been _such_ a good boy for Santa this year.” He reached for the bottom of Tom’s shirt and slid his hands underneath.

“Oh man! In their kitchen? That’s just nasty,” Chris grinned as he and Lauren walked through the door. Tom jerked back against the counter pulling his clothes back into place as Chris let out a loud laugh.

“Thanks for spoiling the moment Chris, now I don’t even get a little grope before we start this?” Mike sighed dramatically. “For that I’m not taking off the nose.” He re-adjusted it and put the reindeer hat back on. “There.” He grinned and went to join the others in the living room.

“Great,” sighed Tom, “Now I get to live with a psychotic reindeer for the day.”

“Ahh cheer up Tommy boy,” Chris said as he put an arm around Tom.” It could be worse.”

“It could?”

“Sure it could, he could be Santa,” Chris laughed.

“At least he’s not asking people to sit on his lap,” Lauren added.

“Or other places, “Chris grinned. “Come on let’s get started.”

*********************

 

The house was finally dark, JR and Tara in bed, Mike and Tom had finally dragged themselves home next door and Steve and Chris had just left. Lauren had already had dinner started when Jared came home, and a night with friends had been just what he’d needed to forget, even if just for a little while.

Jared put a friendly arm around Lauren as they walked back through the house to the kitchen. Jared flicked the switch on the coffee maker and started to make them coffees as Lauren sat down at the counter.

“It’s been too long Jared. We need to hang out together more often. I’ve missed you.” Lauren took a deep breath and decided to acknowledge the white elephant that had been in the room with them all night. “How are you really, Jared?”

Jared took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “Ok I guess. I… I’m still trying to deal with it all.”

Lauren nodded, it was as much as she’d expected. “Jared, you can’t hold it all in. You’re like a bouncy puppy for the kids and I get that. I do. You don’t want the kids to get hurt. But you’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t get away and take some ‘me’ time to decide what you want.”

“I get ‘me’ time, Lauren,” Jared protested.

“I mean headspace time. Some time to sort your thoughts and feelings away from the kids, Jensen, and especially Mike. Whatever made you think having him as a neighbor was a good idea?” She shook her head. “Anyway, what I’m saying is you should take a couple of days up at my cabin. Do it now before Christmas, just take time to gather your thoughts, see if you reach any decisions before you have to go through the ‘joys’ of Christmas day. It’ll do you the world of good.”

“I can’t, Lauren. The kids love this time of year, its family time…I just can’t go. We have to do the tree and the house, I---”

“Jared I’m not telling you to go forever. Look just head up for a couple of days. Go up and come back home Xmas eve. I’ll stay with JR and Tara. We’ll get the tree, and we’ll get everything else for the house ready. You guys can decorate the tree when you get home. Come on Jared. You need the break.”

Jared sighed. “Yeah I suppose I could. It would be nice to get away. Get my head straight.”

He looked up at the sound of key’s jingling and saw Lauren hold them up between her fingers as she smiled. She dropped them into his hand and curled his fingers around them. “Good. Now there’s enough food in your car to take care of you for a week, so you won’t even need to shop. Just go and relax. The fireplace is stocked with chopped wood and there’s more in the shed. There are enough blankets to warm an Eskimo and the spa in the bathroom is fantastic for easing stress.”

“Wait there’s food in my car? When did that happen?”

“I sent the kids out to load it all up before. Jared, as much as you try to hide it, the kids’ sense things aren’t right. They know you aren’t happy. Go on. Take the car and head up there in the morning. If you leave at first light you should be there by early afternoon. Like I said, I’ll stay with the kids. I wouldn’t leave a cat with Mike, even if he does have his own kid.” She laughed before adding, “He’s not like that all the time still is he? That was a little too much Christmas cheer?”

Jared grinned, “No, that was pretty much Mike all the time.”

“Wow, that’s kinda scary you know. Okay…” she said. “Now go on get, go to sleep Jared. You’re going to need an early start in the morning. I may not be your TV girlfriend’s mom anymore. But I can still pull rank on you.”

Jared grinned “Okay,” he headed upstairs and turned. “Thanks, Lauren.”

“Don’t mention it,” she said with a smile.

*********************

Jensen wearily walked through the dim apartment and dumped Chris’ spare keys on the kitchen counter. Emotionally and physically it had been a damn hard day and all he wanted was to sleep, to try and forget his own stupidity.

“Wondered when you were going to get back here.”

Chris’ voice startled him, loud in the silence and Jensen had to stifle an undignified squawk, “Dude!” Jensen’s heart pounded. “What’re you doin’ in the dark man? You scared the shit out of me.”

“Yeah well, Steve’s sleepin’. I guess my body clock’s still screwy. Jet lag will kill ya. Besides I was wondering how things went today at the studio. Did you run into him?”

“Yeah,” Jensen raised his hand rubbing at the back of his neck.

It was a nervous thing Jensen did, and Chris had noticed he always did it when he was unsure of what to say, “So what happened?” Chris leaned forward. “Come on Jen out with it.”

Opening the fridge Jensen grabbed them both a beer, he cracked the caps and handed one to Chris. He waited silently as Chris took a deep pull then spoke up. “I punched him.”

Chris spluttered as the beer took the wrong way down. “You did?” he laughed. “Way to go Jen. I always knew you had it in you. Can’t say I’m sorry. That asshole had it coming.”

A wide grin spread across Jensen’s face as he nodded, “Yeah he did. I guess I really never saw how fucked everything was until I pulled my head outta my ass. Until I saw what I was doing to Jared and the kids.”

“So what’s next?” Chris mused as he took another sip of his beer. “You gotta know how hurt and pissed Jared is at the moment. He’s not just going to take you back.”

“Yeah,” Jensen sighed. “Well, I really didn’t expect anything else. I deserve it, and as for what’s next, I really have no idea.”

“Here,” Chris threw a set of keys to Jensen. “Take these.”

“What’s this? Keys?”

“Wow, I can see why they pay you the big bucks.” Chris snorted. “Yeah, they’re keys. I thought a break at the cabin might do you good. You know re-charge your batteries, or some shit.”

Jensen quirked a brow as he smoothed his thumb over the keys, “You don’t have a cabin.”

“I know that genius, but Lauren does and she offered it to you so you could go clear your head.”

“Why me?” a bewildered expression flickered across Jensen’s face. “She’s Jared’s friend. I thought she’d be ready to string me up by my balls for hurting him.”

“She is,” Chris deadpanned, before he grinned like a mad man. “Look Jen, she already offered it to Jared, but he wants to stay and be with the kids. So now she’s offered it to you—take the damn thing dumbass--go clear your head. You might even come up with a solution to get Jared back.” He took another drink. “No offense, Jen, but you’ve got nothing to lose.”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah you might be right,” he sighed. “I’ve already lost everything I ever wanted. It can’t hurt.”

 

 

*********************

 

 

Lauren pushed the door to Jared’s SUV shut as he slipped the key in the ignition. “Now don’t worry about the kids, they’ll be fine. We’ll bake cookies watch some bad movies—you know the drill.” She offered him a goofy smile then a serious expression took over. “Watch the roads, okay? It’ll be light soon but that doesn’t mean there won’t be idiots out there already--and Jared?”

“Yes, Mom?” he laughed.

A hopeful twinkle sparked in her eyes, “Have a good time while you’re up there okay?”

Jared frowned in confusion for a split second, “Uh, yeah, okay. I’ll see you Friday.” As he turned out of their drive and onto the street he waved at Lauren. He reached across to change the radio station, humming when he finally recognized a song. Yeah, he thought, this trip was just what he needed.

 

*********************

 

[Part 4](http://winchesterxgirl.livejournal.com/89157.html)


	4. I'll believe part 4/6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

**Title:** I'll believe part 4/6  
 **Rating:** R  
 **Pairing:** J2  
 **Spoilers:** no  
 **Summary:** Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

 

A light dusting of snow had covered the ground by the time Jared pulled the SUV to a stop in front of Lauren’s cabin. As he stepped from the car he took a deep breath of the clean mountain air, filling his lungs. Lauren was right, a couple of days up here would do him the world of good.

He moved around to the SUV’s back door and began unpacking his things. The soft bird song and the whisper of the wind in the trees were already working their magic as he felt the tension begin to ease from his shoulders. A gentle smile played across his face as he gathered his stuff and tracked up the gentle incline of the yard to the cabin. Next stop the spa, he thought as he unlocked the door.

*********************

“You call this an early start?” Steve asked, as he looked up from the morning paper.

Jensen yawned and scratched at his chest as he made his way to the kitchen counter. “No coffee?” he grumbled in annoyance and grabbed the empty pot from the coffeemaker.

“Nope, seems Chris has been mainlining it into his veins this morning.” Steve chuckled, “I thought you were heading to the cabin today?”

Shutting off the sink, Jensen gave Steve a wary glance, “How’d you know?”

“Chris mumbled something about it this morning,” Steve covered quickly. “Do you good to get away. So what time were you thinking of heading off?”

“You want me gone that bad?” An expression of mock-hurt gleamed in Jensen’s eyes as he started the coffeemaker.

“Yeah, we do,” Chris appeared in the door and headed straight for the burbling coffeemaker forlornly staring at empty pot until the first of the coffee began to fill the pot. “Awesome, more coffee.” he grinned. “Jen, man you know I love you, but I’m getting a major case of blue balls ‘cause of you. Steve here doesn’t wanna rub it in, but man we ain’t done it since you got here. Now come on, go. Get gone.”

“Subtle Chris, real subtle,” Steve rolled his eyes. “So any thoughts on when you’ll head up?”

“Yeah, I was kinda thinking about lunch time; maybe get there just before dark. What time is it now?” Jensen squinted at the clock on the microwave. “I can’t see shit without my contacts and this damn coffeemaker is too damn slow.” he fumbled for the jar of instant that sat on the counter.

“About half an hour away from the time you want to leave.” Chris chirped as he grabbed his mug from the counter, shifted the pot from the burner, and let the coffee pour directly into the mug.

“Where does the time go?” Jensen smirked. “Well it’ll take me that long to get ready then I’ll have to pack the car.”

 

“Already done,” Chris announced proudly. “Clothes, your guitar, some music Steve added to a CD… which you have to listen to—you do know that right? There’s a song on there we kinda need your help with, uh what else? Did I miss anything Steve?”

“Nope,” Steve shook his head as he snatched Chris’ cup. “Well food, but Lauren has that covered. All you need is you.”

“Well, then,” Jensen filled the mug of instant coffee with hot water and grimaced as he took a mouthful. “I forgot how shitty this stuff tastes.” He emptied it into the sink. “Looks like I have nothing better to do than get ready.” Jensen said as he headed towards the shower. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he said as he left the room.

“Is there _anything_ you wouldn’t do?” Chris laughed at Jensen’s withering glare. “Okay, don’t answer that. Go.”

Jensen just smirked flipping him the finger as he left the room. “You’ll keep Kane.”

 

*********************

The drive up to the cabin was long, cold and the road was filled with asshats, but it also gave Jensen time to think. He had absolutely no idea how he was going to fix things with Jared, but he had to try. He reached across to the stereo and pressed play. He couldn’t remember what CD was in there but anything was better than his own thoughts at the moment. Music filled the car before Steve’s voice picked up with the lyrics.

_With everything you know  
Let it go  
Go on and throw it out the window  
And stop making sense  
Can’t you see that reason has no relevance?  
Cause you keep running for cover  
To the arms of a lover who doesn’t even know you….._

 

Jensen pressed the fast forward button. Subtle Steve, real subtle, he thought as he released the button and the music picked up again.

_Everybody knows, ‘cause it shows  
When you bite your lip and smile at me  
A hug goodbye that lasts too long,  
The second glance that just felt wrong  
It’s you and I and we’re here tonight and I think it’s clear that we both wanna make things right …_

This time Jensen pressed the eject button and the CD slid softly out, ready to taken from the player. He knew they both meant well, but beating him over the head with his own stupidity wasn’t helping. He sighed. The road was steadily getting worse almost a reflection of his own inner turmoil. He flicked the radio on hoping for a traffic update as the snow started to fall heavier. Jensen knew the main road up to the cabin sometimes was choked with traffic and he was hoping this wasn’t going to be one of those times. The DJ’s voice loudly promised a traffic report after the one o’ clock news. He glanced at his watch and groaned. Great if he did have to take the back roads up to the cabin it was going to add at least another hour maybe two to the drive.

The music faded and the traffic report filled the car. _“Sorry guys, but all of you traveling the interstate are in for some huge delays. Traffic is banked up along the highway due to an overturned semi and it’s practically at a standstill. Drivers have been advised that if at all possible, you should take the next alternate exit to avoid further delays---”_ Jensen flicked the radio off. _Great_ , he leaned back into the seat and settled in for a long drive, _just great_.

 

*********************

 

Jared felt loose limbed and relaxed as he worked on unpacking the groceries and tucking them away into the kitchen cabinets. Lauren was right, he thought, the spa did work wonders. He picked up the sandwich he’d made, headed back out to the living room, and settled down on the sofa to watch some TV, channel surfing while he ate. He finally came to the sad realization that daytime TV sucked. Disappointed Jared decided he might as well grab a nap. It had been a long drive and there was really nothing better to do. After all, that was the whole point of coming up here in the first place wasn’t it?

Unfurling from the sofa Jared grabbed his bags from where he’d left them near the door, and entered the bedroom. He closed the bedroom door, threw them in the closet, and vowed to unpack later. The bed looked inviting even with the memories of the previous holiday spent here. He let the good memories wash over him as he lay down, and finally let sleep overtake him.

 

*********************

 

It was early evening when Jensen finally pulled up to the back of the cabin. He stepped from the car and stretched, his spine realigning itself with a couple of soft pops. What he wouldn’t give for a couple of hours sleep right now, he mused as he grabbed his guitar and bags from the back of the car. The snow had been falling for quite some time now, and drifts of sparkling white had blanketed everything. Jensen sorted through the keys as he walked up to the back door, the pull of sleep stronger than the urge to eat and he decided to grab something later as he walked through the kitchen and into the living room.

He dropped his bags beside the sofa, placed his guitar against the coffee table, and sat down before stretching out along the length of the sofa, pillowing his head on his arms. It wasn’t the most comfortable sofa to sleep on, he thought fleetingly as he drifted off, but it sure beat moving.

 

*********************

 

Jared woke the next morning to cloudy skies weak sunlight fighting its way through the thin patches and into the cabin window. He sat up and peered out the window across the front yard at the deep snow that had fallen last night. Drifts of silvery white against the trees, coating their branches, his SUV, and from the looks of it, he could expect more today. He snuggled deeper under the covers only to have his feet poke through at the other end, exposed to the chilly air and the overwhelming need to pee caused him to squirm. Finally he gave in, got up, and blearily shuffled to the bathroom. Once he’d peed and washed his hands he headed out into the living room. All his actions pretty much on auto pilot, until he saw--Jensen.

Jared rubbed the sleep from his eyes to make sure he wasn’t seeing things, then proceeded to pinch his arm next to check if he was still asleep. Nope, he thought, not asleep, because Jensen was still there after both checks. _Okay, fine. I’m okay, I can do this_. Seeing Jensen made his heart clench. _Not now,_ he thought, _it’s too early to deal with this now_. Jared’s stomach gave a loud growl as he walked past the sofa and into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed the bacon, eggs, milk and the rest of the ingredients for his breakfast. He knew that as soon as the smell started to waft into the living room Jensen would wake up, he just wasn’t sure if he was ready for what would come next.

Was Jensen here to get him to sign divorce papers? They hadn’t spoken since that night. Or was he there to ask him to take him back? Jared’s mind was spinning as he cracked the eggs into the pan. No-one told him Jensen was going to be there too, he mused, had Lauren known? Did the kids know? Was it all planned out? He turned on the radio lowering the volume till it droned softly in the background. Maybe if the roads were clear he could head back early.

The pan hissed as he dropped the bacon in beside the eggs, and his mind wandered, thinking about Jensen in the living room until he was snapped back to reality as the bacon spattered his skin with hot fat. “Ow! Fuckin’ great. Just what I need,” he ground out as he thrust his hand under cold running water. _So much for coming here alone to clear my mind_ , he thought. _What happens now? Do I want to take him back? Can I trust him? Will he do it again?_ The thoughts whirled and jumbled themselves, some louder than others. Some thoughts screamed out and others hung back, nibbling away at his self confidence to leave him hurt and confused. His head and his heart were at war and he didn’t know how to stop them.

Cursing himself Jared finished cooking his breakfast. He pushed the thoughts back down. There was nothing he could do to answer any of his doubts anyway until Jensen woke up. Subconsciously he picked up the spatula and flipped the eggs, cooking them just the way Jensen liked them. First breakfast then--well, then whatever came next, he sighed. He needed to know where things stood. Today he was going to get his answers.

*********************

 

[Part 5](http://winchesterxgirl.livejournal.com/89466.html#cutid1)   



	5. I'll believe part 5/6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

**Title:** I'll believe part 5/6  
 **Rating:** R  
 **Pairing:** J2  
 **Spoilers:** no  
 **Summary:** Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

 

The smell of freshly cooked bacon and eggs drifted into the living room, causing Jensen’s stomach to grumble. He blinked, confused as he slowly drifted into consciousness and he stretched to ease the kinks from his back after a night of sleeping on a lumpy sofa.

Bacon? Eggs? Jensen’s senses tempted him with the scent as he looked around to try and see who was here with him. He pushed up silently from the sofa his mind going a mile a minute. He hadn’t seen anyone else here last night, and he sure as shit knew that although Lauren had offered them the cabin he wouldn’t have been gifted with a housekeeper to look after him. Confused, he looked around for any hints as to who it was but there was nothing.

He’d just started to walk towards the kitchen when he heard a shout--Jared.

Jensen wasn’t a coward. He’d never run from a fight, always had his friends back the way they had his. So why was it that all Jensen wanted was to have the ground swallow him up and make him disappear? _Oh yeah that’s right, he’d hurt the best thing in his life_ , his conscience supplied. Sometimes he really hated that little voice of reason. The one that told him he was an asshole and deserved what he got.

He paced back and forth across the room as he heard the water running in the kitchen. Should he go in there? Did Jared hate him? He hadn’t stuck around that night after he mentioned the divorce and he couldn’t bear to see the pain he’d caused on Jared’s face. He’d called a few times, but as soon as Jared answered he’d hang up, speechless. What did you say to someone when you’d destroyed your relationship with them for nothing? When you came to the realization too late that you had done the one thing you’d vowed you would never do?

Walking into the kitchen and facing Jared was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. He opened his mouth to say ‘Hi’ but nothing came out.

“I made breakfast.” Jared sat down and pushed a plate across the counter to Jensen, followed by a cup of coffee.

“Thanks, Jay… you didn’t have to--you know.” Jensen sat down on the other stool at the counter. Great! Wonderful you asshole, he makes you breakfast and you sound like you don’t want it. Jensen’s conscience was working overtime this morning. “I mean, thanks Jay, really. I just… I s’pose I thought you’d rather I left. Not here, sharing breakfast with you.”

“Yeah well, don’t make more of it than it is. I was hungry and I didn’t want to waste it. Turned out I made too much. Kinda lost my appetite halfway through.” Jared said softly as he picked at his food.

“Oh …okay…” Jensen couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice. He didn’t know what to expect but this broken version of the man he loved wasn’t it. He’d thought Jared had lost interest in them…no, wait that wasn’t true. Jensen had just let himself believe that so he could justify what he was doing with Michael. He picked at his eggs while he tried to sort out what to say next.

“Jay I…”

“Jared.”

“What?”

“I said Jared. You lost any right to call me anything else when you left. Why Jensen? Why did you do this to us?” Jared’s voice cracked.

Jensen searched for the words, for anything to explain why he had been such an asshole and came up empty. All he could do was shake his head.

“You know what?” Jared rose from his seat, “Never mind. I can’t do this right now. I don’t know how you came to be here, or how long you’re here for, and really, I don’t care. But it looks as if we’re stuck here for the next few days, because both roads out are blocked due to the snow last night. Right now, I can’t deal with this.” Jared motioned between them. “I’m going outside for a walk to clear my head. You… you can do what you want. Just don’t follow me. I need to think. Seeing you again has my head in freefall and I need time. You can wash up.” Jared nodded towards the pile of dishes.

Jensen nodded as he watched Jared walk back to his room. Moments later he came out dressed for the cold and walked out the back door. _Well that went well_ , Jensen thought sarcastically as his shoulders slumped. With a harsh swallow he stood, collected the plates and started washing up. _Great now what do I do?_

He still hadn’t discovered any answers ten minutes later when the dishes were done so he headed for the living room, grabbing his guitar, and settling down on the sofa. Since he’d met Steve and Chris music had helped him sort things out, picking up his guitar and just playing around, soft melodies and notes had become his way to relax and let his mind clear. As he plucked idly at the strings, Jensen recalled something Chris had said about a song they needed help with. At least he could help them, even if he couldn’t help himself.

Sitting the guitar aside he reached for his bag and unzipped the pocket. Sure enough the CD sat inside. He pulled it out, and crossed the room to the stereo, slid it from the cover, and loaded it into the player.

“So Jensen, this whole song idea was a ruse.” Steve’s voice suddenly came through the speakers, "I do have a song here, but Chris and I didn’t write it. Someone you know intimately did. Listen to it Jensen, listen and take it to heart---”

“And fuckin’ fix it,” Chris’ voice cut in. They both laughed then Steve’s voice came back. “I mean it Jensen.”

The soft guitar notes began the intro then Steve’s voice followed; rich and filled with emotion.

 

_I don’t understand, where we stand  
There’s a funny feeling  
That I get when I’m with you  
You and I, we’ve gone so far together  
Feels like we’re one step away  
From being through_

_And I know you better than you  
Might think  
And I think you might have done  
Something Wrong_

_But I’ll believe these words that you say  
I can’t help to feel this way  
And if you thought to let me go  
Well I don’t wanna know  
If I did something wrong  
And you thought that you’d belong  
In the arms of another then no  
I don’t wanna know.  
If I’ve taken you for granted  
It’s not the way I’d planned it  
I still want you even though  
I don’t wanna know._

_I saw something wrong  
Where did it begin?  
When I was asking you  
It looked like, you felt like giving in  
So I changed the conversation  
Avoiding confrontation  
Cause I could see that we  
Were headed somewhere we  
Could not come back from.  
And these things you wanna say to me  
I know that they’ll eventually tear us apart_

_So I’ll believe these words that you say  
I cant help to feel this way  
And if you thought to let me go  
Well I don’t wanna know  
If I’ve taken you for granted  
It’s not the way I’d planned it  
I still want you though  
I don’t wanna know_

_This dangerous mind keeps wandering  
About a stranger, even a friend  
No they won’t go  
No they won’t leave  
These thoughts are like enemies in my head  
Maybe the day will come  
When I won’t wanna know  
If you’re running around on me  
But till then I’ll just pretend I’m  
The one to blame for the last time_

_Just know that I’ll believe, in all these words you say  
I can’t help to feel this way  
And if you thought to let me go  
Well I don’t wanna know  
If I did something wrong  
And you thought that you’d belong  
In the arms of another, then no  
Well I don’t wanna know  
If I’ve taken you for granted  
It’s not the way I’d planned it  
I still want you even though  
I don’t wanna know…_

 

 

“So that’s why Steve wanted it so badly.”

Jensen was startled out of his thoughts at Jared’s voice. “You wrote that?” Jensen turned to face him. “Is that really how you feel?”

Jared nodded his admission a soft whisper, “Yeah I wrote it, well… not as a song. Steve turned it into one, but yeah I did.” He’d walked in as the song was ending, but he recognized the words. He still wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill or kiss Steve for it, but if the look on Jensen’s face was anything to go by he might be leaning more towards kissing him, but he was still uncertain.

“And is that…” Jensen began again.

“How I feel? Yeah it is.” The pain he’d felt since that night filled his voice. “But it doesn’t matter. It’s too late now. I’m sorry Jensen. I’ve gotta go…”

“Go where? Jared, the roads are blocked…Jared, JARED!”Jensen stepped in front of him blocking his way, “Stay. Talk to me, please!”

“Why, Jensen? So you can tell me you don’t love me anymore? How I just made a fool of myself now you’ve heard that song? I can’t. I can’t stay and hear how you still chose Michael over me.”

“I DON’T.”

“You don’t what? Jensen,” Jared questioned wearily. He just wanted to go to the safety of his room and sleep until the snow melted.

“I DON’T WANT MICHAEL! I DON’T WANT HIM! And if I’m honest with myself, and you, then I have to tell you. I Love YOU Jared. I can’t excuse what I did. Hell, I don’t even know why I did it. I wish I hadn’t.”

“I can’t trust you Jen. I can’t. You say it, but do you really mean it? I love you, god help me I still love you, but you didn’t just hurt me, you hurt the kids too.”

“I know, Jared, I know. I never meant for any of this to happen, but I can’t change it or make any of it disappear. But we can move forward--if you’ll let me try. I want to try.” Those simple words crashed through the walls that Jensen had built inside. “I want us to be a family again, but most of all I want YOU Jared. I came up here to sort through it all. To see if I could think of a way to win you back.”

“I’m not a prize you can just win Jensen---”

“I know Jared, bad example okay? I’m trying to explain and I suck at it I know. I just… I just don’t know how to make it alright again.” Jensen slumped down on to the sofa, drained.

“You know I came up here to sort everything out too.” Jared sat down beside him, shoving him across so that they could sit side by side. “So how did you get the keys?”

“Lauren. Well via Steve and Chris. They said that she’d offered it to you and that you wanted to stay at home with the kids.” He shrugged. "I thought that maybe I could sort it all out in my head so I could try to make things work out for us. I want you back Jared. I miss you and most importantly…” he paused, “I love you.”

Jared let his declaration hang in the air for a moment while he gathered his thoughts. He did love Jensen still, but he wasn’t going to fall into his arms like some movie heroine either. Jared gave a soft chuckle as the image in his head.

Jensen heard the soft laugh and his heart sank. Jared was laughing at him. He stood up quickly “You don’t have to laugh at me! Just say you don’t love me. Make it a quick clean break and then leave me be with the pieces, but don’t laugh Jay… anything but that.”

_What? Oh_ , Jared thought as he glanced up in shock at Jensen’s outburst. “You think I’m laughing at you? Jensen you know I would never do that.”

“Then why?” Jensen demanded the pain evident in his voice.

Smiling wide, his dimples deepening, Jared shook his head in a mix of amusement and disbelief. “I was just thinking that I love you too, but I’m not just going to fall into your arms like some chick in a movie. For some reason I had an image pop in my head of what that would look like. You’re lucky I wasn’t wearing heels.”

Jensen’s expression softened as he chuckled at the image. “Did I at least have a cool car and a leather Jacket?”

“Definitely, you were a T-Bird and I was a Pink Lady. There was singing.” A giggle, an honest to God giggle escaped Jared as he fluttered his lashes at Jensen jokingly.

Jensen really laughed then, his entire body shaking with it. Jared had always known how to make him feel better even though he didn’t deserve it. He dropped down beside Jared. “So did Lauren give you keys to the cabin, too?”

“Yeah,” Jared nodded. “I think we’ve been played Jensen, and everyone was in on it. That would explain why they were all at our house for dinner the other night.”

“By all of them you mean--ALL OF THEM?”

“Yeah,” Jared grinned. “Mike and Tom were there, Steve and Chris, Lauren and the kids too. Even CJ was there.”

Jensen was shocked, “Wow.”

“Yeah, they went to an awful lot of trouble to get us here.” Jared’s eyes lowered to the floor as he fiddled with a loose thread in the hem of his hoodie.

“They must have had it all planned out. We played into it so easily.” Jensen shook his head in wonder, his voice turning serious. “So here’s the hard part. What do we do now?”

Jared shifted a little closer to Jensen in his seat. “How about we just take it step by step and see how it goes. And about dinner--you are definitely making it. Oh and maybe even breakfast. Yeah, breakfast would be good—in bed. You know with all the fancy trimmings…”

“So, basically, I’m you’re slave for life?” Jensen grinned hopefully.

“Yeah, well maybe just for a little while,” Jared smiled. “You know, until we’re back on track. It’s a step by step thing.”

Jensen quirked one eyebrow at Jared in curiosity and Jared thought it was one of the damn cutest things he'd ever seen, “How many steps?” Jensen asked. “Twelve right? Please say twelve?”

A wide grin lit up Jared’s face as he shook his head. This was what he’d missed the most. They had great kids, the sex had been fantastic but what Jared had missed the most was their easy playful banter. They felt as though they were two halves of the same person. He could see Jensen felt it too.

“Twelve? Oh I think we’re looking at more like twenty-four. It was Weatherly after all.” Jared teased. “Dude, that’s nasty.”

Jensen flushed with embarrassment, “Don’t remind me.”

“So tonight, I think dinner and a movie.” Jared hummed thoughtfully.

“Jared, I hate to ask, but are you sure you haven’t developed…you know…” he motioned with his hands and pointed at his chest and groin, “girly bits? Cause dude, dinner and a movie? I hate to remind you, but we’re snowed in. Even the SUV won’t make it out.”

“You’ll think of something.” Jared added with a grin, “Slave.” He’d raised an eyebrow at Jensen then added, “And no I don’t have girly bits. You know that all too well. Now while you go and think about how you’re going to make it up to me tonight I’m going to go out and check on the generator. I’ll see how much wood we have stocked and check that the pipes aren’t icing over.”

“I know some pipes that are icing over when they could be tended too…”Jensen mumbled under his breath.

Jared flashed a smirk before he turned and walked out the door. His voice drifted back over his shoulder as the door closed behind him, “Those pipes will be fine. If you’re really good I might let you warm them up later tonight.”

 

*********************

[Part 6](http://winchesterxgirl.livejournal.com/89843.html#cutid1)   



	6. I'll believe part 6 complete 6/6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

**Title:** I'll believe part 6 complete 6/6  
 **Rating:** R  
 **Pairing:** J2  
 **Spoilers:** no  
 **Summary:** Jared and Jensen are on the brink of divorce... What? you want me to give it all away? pssh not on your life... read me....

 

Jared made his way through the deep snow as he circled the cabin, checking to make sure everything was in working order. The generator had a full tank and there was another can of gas in the mudroom in case they lost power and the pipes looked fine. He walked across the yard to where his Denali was parked, noting there were no tall trees nearby so it should be fine if they got any heavy winds with the coming storm. Behind the cabin was the woodshed and Lauren had been right, there was more than enough wood for the fireplace. After he was done he scanned the trees, their limbs heavy with glistening snow and smiled. A walk sounded perfect, he thought as he headed towards them. He had a couple of hours to kill and he knew Jensen could use the time to process their talk, hell he knew he could too. A walk was a brilliant idea.

 

*********************

 

Inside at the kitchen counter Jensen peeled the last of the vegetables, spread them out across the bottom of the roasting pan and slid it in the oven. Turning back to the stove he flipped the steaks cooking in the pan, and looked at his watch. Jared had come back an hour ago, snuck up behind him and slid his ice cold hands beneath Jensen’s shirt on his stomach causing Jensen to yelp.

He’d grinned, managing to offer Jared a heated glance from beneath his lashes, one full of promises before Jared pulled away with a teasing smirk. Then Jared had headed to the bathroom for a long hot bath.

Before he’d come in Jensen had been thinking about Jared and that had made him hard and thinking about him in a hot bath wasn’t helping. He tried to will it away, but even thinking unsexy thoughts didn’t help. The sound of the water in the bathroom roaring down the drain caught his attention and moments later Jared walked into the kitchen wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

“How long till dinner?” Jared picked a couple of peas out of the bowl that Jensen was shelling. He was impressed. He’d put the food away when he got to the cabin, but he fully expected that Jensen would have gone for the frozen veggies. Instead Jensen had cooked from scratch.

“Not long,”Jensen groaned as Jared brushed up against him. “Are you going…” Jensen swallowed hard, “are you going to go get dressed? I mean I know we’re the only two here, but …”

“But what, Jensen?” he whispered against Jensen’s ear.

“You said twenty-four steps. Man, if this is step one I’m screwed. Resisting you when you’re all warm and wet, only wearing a towel? I’m never going to reach step two!”

Jared smiled, “Okay, it is a little mean I admit. So you want me to get dressed now?”

“Want? NO. Need you too? Yes, a world of yes.” Jensen turned back to the pan, prodding the steaks to see if they were done, and then walked over to set the table. “Go….now…”

A secretive grin teased Jared’s lips as he headed back to the bedroom. This was going even better than he’d hoped.

*********************

 

They were both sitting on the sofa, an easy silence filling the room between them, and the movie a dull drone in the background. “Tell me why we are watching Titanic again?” Jensen groaned.

“Steve or Chris must have given Lauren a bunch of porn movies to leave here for us, instead of real movies.”

“…and that’s a bad thing why?” Sighing Jensen shifted against the cushions.

Jared chuckled softly, “Twenty-four steps Jensen.”

“You’re not really going to make me do the whole twenty-four are you Jay?” Jensen glanced over at Jared offering him his best woobie eyes.

“Twenty-three—well, maybe twenty-two. You did make an awesome dinner. I’m really kind of stuffed.” Jared patted his stomach.

“Any chance I could maybe cut that number down a little lower?” Jensen grinned. “We could watch one movie they left us…”

“Better yet…” Jared crawled across the floor, too stuffed to stand upright.

“What?”

“Lauren does have a camcorder in this cabinet under the TV.” Jared offered. “Wonder if there’s anything on it?”

“We could put something on it.” Jensen watched as Jared pulled a disc from inside. “Wanna see what it is?”

“It’s probably just some stuff of Lauren and her family. Sure why not?” Jared felt a little guilty at watching something Lauren had probably only meant family to see but there was only so many times that you could watch Titanic and _not_ wish to sink with the ship.”

Jared plugged it into the TV and switched the camcorder on, then crawled back to the sofa to sit beside Jensen on the floor. Jensen glanced at Jared in surprise as Mike and Tom filled the screen, “Dude? When were they up here?”

Leaning forward Jared tried to get a better look the date stamp on the screen. “It says the night before we—wait, they must have driven up the night of the dinner. I thought they just went home. Looks like Lauren must have sent them up here to get it ready.”

“You might have even passed them on their way home or on your way up here, whatever…” Jensen added.

They turned their attention back to the screen as Mike and Tom came back into focus. Tom walked in front of the camera and picked it up, panning it around the room. Mike was standing there posing for the camera. “Hey Tom, do I look like Paris Hilton?” He sucked in his cheeks, trying to do his best imitation of a waif thin heiress. They heard Tom laugh before Mike called for the camera to focus on him again, “How about now?”

Jared and Jensen both roared at the screen “Oh, no…” Jared was shaking his head, trying to erase the image.

Jensen wailed in pain, “My eyes! My eyes!”

“Okay, where do I find the brain bleach?” Jared moaned.

“No! Just, oh my god no, put them back on Mike…Oh! Mike, Tom nooo, just shut off the camcorder. Don’t keep recording him!” Jared turned off the camcorder. “Okay, I never want to see that again—ever!” Jensen laughed. “We so have Mike over a barrel now.”

Jared wiped the tears from his eyes as he ejected the disc and handed it to Jensen. “Keep that somewhere safe. We might need that it someday.” They switched off the TV, neither of them wanting to chance what they might find if they watched another movie.

“Well that kinda killed the mood.”Jensen mumbled unhappily. “We were all… you know, and it could have led to…”

“To what, Jen?”

“Um, reducing a step or two?” Jensen rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Well…I suppose we could lose step twenty-two. You did admit the whole Weatherly thing was the worst thing you ever did.”

“It _was_ Jay, it really was. Though I must admit the look on his face was priceless when I punched him.”

Jared’s eyes widened in surprise, “You hit him? I wanted to do that. Okay, since you punched him then maybe we can lose step twenty-one too.” He really didn’t have twenty-four things he wanted Jensen to work through, but he didn’t need to know that. “I might even let you off with number twenty. After all you are trying,” Jared’s lips curled in a smirk as Jensen missed the double meaning.

Jensen leaned over and captured Jared’s mouth in a kiss, gentle and begging permission for more. “I am. I’m trying real hard.” He whispered against Jared’s lips with a warm laugh then leaned back in for another kiss.

Jared threaded his fingers through Jensen’s cropped hair pulling him in close. “Hmm…” he pulled away and Jensen moved towards him to kiss him again only to have Jared pull away leaving Jensen obviously confused.

“What?”

“I have an idea of how you can work through all the steps. All but one, the most important one.”

“How?”

“Follow me,” Jared said as he pulled Jensen after him. Jensen smiled as Jared led him back to his room.

“I think I’m gonna like these steps.”

 

*********************

 

Jared woke the next morning to Jensen drooling all over his shoulder, and as gross as that was, he’d missed it. He knew it wasn’t going to be an easy road back, but he knew that they were both committed to try. At the moment that was the best they could promise each other. He tried his best to get out of bed without waking Jensen, sliding gently from beneath him, and tucking the pillow beneath his head where his own shoulder had been.

Jared headed for the kitchen and grabbed the phone off the counter. He dialed their home number and waited patiently as the phone rang at the other end.

“Padalecki-Ackles residence, this is Lauren speaking,” a loud yawn punctuated the hand full of words.

“Lauren, what the _hell_ were you all thinking? I really did NOT appreciate being set up like that! Why would you do that to me?” Jared hissed down the phone.

Suddenly Lauren was wide awake which usually required at least a full pot of coffee, “Oh my God! You worked it out with him! You did! I knew it would all work out. Chris _knew_ Jensen was just being a dick about it all. We all you knew you two would work it out!”

Jared rolled his eyes at the string of words that seemed to melt together and he could almost see Lauren bouncing like an over-caffeinated kangaroo. “Lauren, Lauren? Where in the hell did you get the idea that we’re back together again?”

“Your voice, Jared,” she giggled, “You haven’t sounded like that since before you two separated. So what happened, did you take him back? You did—didn’t you?! I am totally cupid.”

“You can _hear that_ while I’m hissing at you down the phone?”

“What can I say Jared it’s a skill,” she snorted. “So when are you two coming home?”

Finally he just gave in. It was pointless considering that Lauren was pretty much a force of nature when she was right—about anything. “Have you heard any more snow reports for this area?” Jared sighed. “So far we seem to be pretty snowed in. I can’t find the drive for the life of me. When do you think we can get someone to clear the snow so we can get out?”

“Jared?” She cleared her throat with a chuckle, “Slow down. They say there’s no more snow expected until day after tomorrow. Yep, the drive _does_ get lost under the snow, but you might be able contact Mr. Jenkins down the road. He has a snow plow, and he should be able to get to you as soon as you want—anything else?”

“Not really,” Jared yawned and stretched. “Thanks, what would I do without you?”

“Most likely you’d be asking Mike for help and then needing to be bailed out of jail,” she snorted. “Now go back to that man who is—no doubt—waiting for you back in bed. Enjoy yourselves and we’ll forgive you for coming home tomorrow.”

“Bye, Lauren.” Jared smiled as he ended the call. He turned and came face to face with Jensen. “Hey.” A flush crept into his cheeks, his eyes sparkling as the memory of last night rose in his thoughts.

“Hey,” Jensen slid his arms around his waist, pulling Jared close. “So who dares disturb my sleep?” He playfully nipped at Jared’s shoulder. “I woke up and you were gone.”

“I was just calling Lauren to see if we could get the drive plowed so we can head home. I know tomorrow is Christmas Eve, but I was hoping we could leave today and get the tree with the kids. You don’t mind do you?” He reached out, fingertips tilting Jensen’s chin up so they were eye to eye. “I think they’d like that.”

“I was kinda hoping to have you all to myself for another day, but I have a lot to make up for with them as well—if they’ll let me.” Jensen smiled hopefully and then went back to nipping at Jared’s neck, adding a soft whispered, “We’ll go as soon as we can move the cars, but it’s still kinda early, Jay—wanna come back to bed?”

Jared grinned. “You know what? I think I do. Besides I believe someone owes me breakfast in bed—with all the trimmings.”

Jensen groaned as he recalled his promise from the night before. He’d amazed Jared with dinner, but now it was time to show how good he was with breakfast although it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to be doing. He seriously just wanted to go back to bed with Jared. Well, he’d just have to do both.

 

*********************

 

“Dad! They’re back JR, they’re back!” Tara ran from where she’d been sitting at the window ever since they’d called to say they were on their way home. Her eyes were sparkling and her energy level had rocketed up in 3.5 seconds when the vehicles had pulled into the drive.

JR shouted over his shoulder as he tailed his sister out the front door, “Aunt Lauren, they’re home!” He slowed his pace as Tara ran toward Jared and Jensen, pigtails flying. Veering to the side she tumbled into Jared arms wrapping around his waist in a bear hug. “Dad, I missed you!” Pushing up on tiptoes as he leaned over she planted a on his cheek. “Is Daddy home for good now?” she whispered into Jared’s ear.

Jared nodded. “Yeah, I think so. But you know, maybe you should ask him?” he whispered. Tara nodded solemnly and walked over to Jensen. “Daddy, are …are you back for good now? I don’t want you to leave again. Dad was so sad while you were gone and I was really mad at you for that.”

Jensen swallowed hard his eyes shining, “Yeah, baby I am. I’m sorry, so sorry for everything. I promise, I never want that to happen again okay?”

Tara pulled back staring deeply into Jensen’s eyes with a considering expression and whatever she found in his gaze seemed to set her mind at ease. “Okay, Daddy.”

JR walked up to Jensen and nodded. “Pop.”

Jensen slid his arm around his son’s shoulders, “JR, I’m sorry, for all that happened.” He met JR’s gaze as he pulled back and looked deeply into his eyes.

“Me, too,” JR whispered not quite convinced. “So how do we know you won’t leave again Pop, I mean…never mind.” Jared knew it was taking all JR’s self control not to break down in front of them and he was damn proud of their son.

“I won’t JR.” Jensen’s voice softened. “I can’t give you an iron clad answer saying that we’ll always be together. But I love your Dad and I never want to lose him again. Okay?”

JR nodded, a bit less concern in his voice, “All right.”

“Come on.” Jared wrapped his arm around Jensen’s shoulders, his free arm around Tara and pulled them both in tight his eyes focused on JR. He saw the twitch at the corner of their son’s mouth and he smiled as Jensen reached a hand out to JR.

“Let’s go decorate the tree, son.”

~ finis ~


End file.
